What practices do you undertake to quell the voices that urge detour from spiritual growth?

[silentlucidity]

Primarily, I focus on meditation these days either silent, guided, or with binaural or isochronic tones. I sometimes fall back on hypnosis or walking meditation.

I also need to practice my spirituality in the world at large and not just in isolation to stay on course.

It seems the more progress I make forward, the stronger the forces (mostly internal) try to pull me off the path. I am curious to know what others do in this regard.

 

[KjEno186]

I took up learning piano. I realized that boring meditation led to strong urges to spend time more productively. I try to do silent, mind-observing meditation while being quite still every day, but it is not enough and always feels like a chore waiting for the clock/timer to show that time's up. Having something to mentally focus on while also having actual feedback is important to me. I found out that I really enjoy and look forward to piano practice.

From the Brave search AI:

Meditation Through Music​

Playing a musical instrument can serve as a form of meditation, as it requires focused concentration and can lead to a state of relaxed awareness. This practice allows individuals to immerse themselves in the present moment, reducing stress and enhancing mental clarity. Many musicians find that the act of playing an instrument, especially when done with intention and mindfulness, can be as meditative as traditional seated meditation practices.

• Focused Concentration: Engaging with an instrument demands attention, which helps to quiet the mind and reduce distractions. This intense but relaxed focus can create a sanctuary within oneself, away from the usual mental chatter.
• Relaxed Posture and Environment: Ensuring a comfortable posture and preparing the practice space can enhance the meditative experience by promoting a sense of calm and ease.
• Mindfulness in Practice: By being fully present during practice, musicians can develop a deeper connection with their instrument and the music they create. This mindfulness can lead to improved concentration, physical awareness, and emotional expression.
• Flow State: When deeply engaged in playing an instrument, individuals may enter a flow state, where time seems to disappear, and the mind is completely absorbed in the activity. This state is similar to the benefits experienced in traditional meditation.
• Therapeutic Benefits: Learning and playing a musical instrument has been shown to have therapeutic effects, including stress reduction, improved mental health, and enhanced cognitive function.

 

[HoldAll]

I rather think you have involuntarily adopted a very common narrative that might not actually apply to your case. "The harder I try, the harder it gets" (diet, exercising, any endeavor that requires sustained self-discipline) as if there was an iron-clad inverse relationship between effort and success. Identifying and eliminating such narratives (e.g. 'the inevitable happy ending', that's currently the hardest to get rid of for me) from my own thinking has become somewhat of an obsessive hobby of mine, and in this specific case I would suspect myself of secretly patting myself on the back for all the hard work I was doing, alas without success, beautiful loser me or some such narcissist crap - mind you, that's just me and my paranoia of deceiving myself (see my profile signature line *lol).

I think what most of here are experiencing in their practice is a mix of obsession and/or fascination with a given subject on the one hand where no toil or hard graft are required because we can't get enough of it anyway (esp. when reading), and on the other exercises that require teeth-gritting determination and long-term consistency from us. Once again I have to remind you that there may no 'happy ending' in the form of a specific solution, only a long drawn-out process. You don't necessarily overcome laziness, for example, in one single spectacular act of self-conquest and subsequently become an eager meditator or whatever for life. Some problems can't be solved, only be managed.

Some exercises may be a chore but you can reasonably expect that they will be good for you in the long run. Others may be a chore as well but the reason for this is that they're not right for you, and you cannot always tell the difference. I think you are actually already applying this principle intuitively by switching between methods, and only you can judge whether this a sign of avoidant behaviour or simply an exploratory stage where you try out various avenues you might want to take. The main thing here is to keep going, to observe, to assess and correct your course, if need be. What is really dangerous though (and I'm mainly speaking from my experience with exercising here) is to take a prolonged time-out in order 'to really think hard about everything' - it will never get you anywhere, derail your daily practice (often permanently) and make it so much harder to get back in a daily routine, however imperfect; always be sure to keep your hand in, in short.

 

[Audiolog Edu]

Recently I was doing quite well, advancing and developing myself, but I failled, I was doing Intermitent Fasting, One Meal a Day and Keto, I also practice Piano as the post above say, I do it spiritually, I try to connect with Hod/Hermes and offer my practice to them, I also practice Martial Chi Gong to have a body dicipline and to connect body intention to breathing, doing as well my basic rituals like Qabbalistic Cross, LBRP, Middle Pillar, etc. and I snapped, it was my fathers bday and there it was in the fridge lots of cake and left over sandwiches, so I fell miserably, but now I am going back on track, take in mind that I used to smoke tobacco, high grade cannabis and every once in a while I would have some beer with my "satanist" neighbore, but I changed for the better good and I feel so proud of myself, is those details I mentioned that have helped me stay spiritual, advancing, also I almost forgot, the more I read books from Hermetic Magick Tradition the more I want to stay on the path.

 

[IllusiveOwl]

Every voice is a detour from spiritual growth, and you can't quell them because they aren't actually voices, they're more just you being fed information from a part of your brain, like an internal monitor behind your eyes that constantly feeds and cannot be turned off without stopping activity in your brain. Good luck silencing that.

Realizing this viscerally and understanding it doesn't happen right away, it's recovering from the greatest addiction there is, like staring at a television screen that's in your head. Once this becomes blatant, you are able to "unglue" your attention from these thoughts and focus elsewhere; they still persist but as a fraction of your experience and not the whole of it, and their interpretation of reality does not overwhelm or alter it, in fact you alter it; rather than it influencing reality, reality influences it. Focusing on our thoughts and giving them our whole attention during meditation is a habit we've had since birth, and so it's a process, often called "Remembering yourself". Once you don't need to remember and simply "Are" congrats, you're pretty enlightened.

The practice is to "Remember yourself" while out and about in the world, where your mind is at it's most highly functioning, and to act in the world as though you are sitting on your meditation pillow, still internally but acting through the world normally. This inner stillness is where power generates and spiritual growth can be actualized.

 

[KjEno186]

I recalled an illustration in Luke Burgis' book, Wanting. He was quoting from another book which I haven't read.

In his book Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t, Jim Collins uses the example of a giant flywheel to explain how good companies break out and become great.

Collins asks us to imagine standing in front of “a massive metal disk mounted horizontally on an axle, about 30 feet in diameter, 2 feet thick, and weighing about 5,000 pounds,” and that our goal is “to get the flywheel rotating on the axle as fast and as long as possible.” You push for hours, but the disk barely moves. Gravity is working against you. After three hours, you’ve achieved one full turn. Not discouraged, you continue pushing for a few more hours in the same direction with consistent effort. Suddenly, at an indiscernible point, momentum turns in your favor. The disk’s weight is working for you rather than against you. The wheel propels itself forward. Five turns, fifty, one hundred.

Collins says this is what happens inside great companies when they put a positive, self-fulfilling cycle in motion. There is not a linear process of continuous improvement but a critical transition point at which momentum takes over and the process begins to power itself.

Luke's book was about the reasons why people have desires, and it focused on the Mimetic theory of desire conceived by Rene Girard. Without going into a discussion on the nature of desire, one can apply that flywheel illustration to spiritual growth which is something you desire. Initially, it seems like a lot of work because it takes effort to change one's habits. After a time, the inertia of the new habits take on their own momentum, requiring less effort on your part to keep the good habits going. One needs balance because over-exertion in any endeavor in life can lead to burn out. In fact taking a day off once a week, a "sabbath" as it were, can be good for you. You're still on the path, but you can relax and let the magick just do its work on the higher planes. You don't have to practice the Protestant Work Ethic for magick or spirituality to have a profound impact in your life. Doing something small every day is more effective in the long run than forcing effort to extremes for intermittent periods in the hope of more immediate results, which is often counterproductive.

Write what you do in your notebook every day. It might not seem like much in the beginning, but that record will encourage you as time passes.

I hope this is helpful for you.

 

[Asteriskos]

I rather think you have involuntarily adopted a very common narrative that might not actually apply to your case. "The harder I try, the harder it gets" (diet, exercising, any endeavor that requires sustained self-discipline) as if there was an iron-clad inverse relationship between effort and success. Identifying and eliminating such narratives (e.g. 'the inevitable happy ending', that's currently the hardest to get rid of for me) from my own thinking has become somewhat of an obsessive hobby of mine, and in this specific case I would suspect myself of secretly patting myself on the back for all the hard work I was doing, alas without success, beautiful loser me or some such narcissist crap - mind you, that's just me and my paranoia of deceiving myself (see my profile signature line *lol).

I think what most of here are experiencing in their practice is a mix of obsession and/or fascination with a given subject on the one hand where no toil or hard graft are required because we can't get enough of it anyway (esp. when reading), and on the other exercises that require teeth-gritting determination and long-term consistency from us. Once again I have to remind you that there may no 'happy ending' in the form of a specific solution, only a long drawn-out process. You don't necessarily overcome laziness, for example, in one single spectacular act of self-conquest and subsequently become an eager meditator or whatever for life. Some problems can't be solved, only be managed.

Some exercises may be a chore but you can reasonably expect that they will be good for you in the long run. Others may be a chore as well but the reason for this is that they're not right for you, and you cannot always tell the difference. I think you are actually already applying this principle intuitively by switching between methods, and only you can judge whether this a sign of avoidant behaviour or simply an exploratory stage where you try out various avenues you might want to take. The main thing here is to keep going, to observe, to assess and correct your course, if need be. What is really dangerous though (and I'm mainly speaking from my experience with exercising here) is to take a prolonged time-out in order 'to really think hard about everything' - it will never get you anywhere, derail your daily practice (often permanently) and make it so much harder to get back in a daily routine, however imperfect; always be sure to keep your hand in, in short.

I agree that some necessary pieces of the puzzle can be wearisome and off-putting, even intimidating. Forging ahead through that works for some people, it was especially difficult for me. The "basics" are where most of your Insights are going to come from. Anyone who has ever gotten "Good at Anything" has worked for it. A Magician must "Enflame" themselves, read "Want To", in order to progress! In reality Nothing is Free, it takes Work. This does Not mean it Can't be Fun!

 

[heavysm]

I had to think about this one, very deeply when issues with focus and daily meditation came up. I had to greatly amplify my meditation with music and daily walking to help, my sorcery and spiritual focus. We are talking about, making this into a daily and very...routine habit of including deep meditation, and pendulum work...then into walking and jogging, and hiking even...just to keep magick focus, in line. I think of this as helping me to become more spiritually grounded, considering that I was pretty much forced to walk faster, and deeper...and then hike and run, when I needed to balance out my thoughts and sorcery in my life. It made sense, but when sorcery forces you to walk, and then run...that was quite striking and ridiculous to me, because I might have pushed so much sorcery through my life. But it made a lot of sense, and I still kept up my focus...and several hours a day of sitting and standing meditation, which is now...needed for proper in moment focus, and spiritual growth. My whole life changed when this gradually came about over time, but if I go lame, or forsake running...or even walking meditation, nevermind the pendulum and music parts...I might just lose my sorcery focus, completely. I merely see this as life balance and a greater aid for my thinking and concentration, as a whole.

 

[Asteriskos]

I had to think about this one, very deeply when issues with focus and daily meditation came up. I had to greatly amplify my meditation with music and daily walking to help, my sorcery and spiritual focus. We are talking about, making this into a daily and very...routine habit of including deep meditation, and pendulum work...then into walking and jogging, and hiking even...just to keep magick focus, in line. I think of this as helping me to become more spiritually grounded, considering that I was pretty much forced to walk faster, and deeper...and then hike and run, when I needed to balance out my thoughts and sorcery in my life. It made sense, but when sorcery forces you to walk, and then run...that was quite striking and ridiculous to me, because I might have pushed so much sorcery through my life. But it made a lot of sense, and I still kept up my focus...and several hours a day of sitting and standing meditation, which is now...needed for proper in moment focus, and spiritual growth. My whole life changed when this gradually came about over time, but if I go lame, or forsake running...or even walking meditation, nevermind the pendulum and music parts...I might just lose my sorcery focus, completely. I merely see this as life balance and a greater aid for my thinking and concentration, as a whole.

I really like how you've talked about some of the "insights" you've had. I think a Lot of people into Magic et al, discover that "physical" activity creates a complementary balance to inner development as well, in fact without it you really aren't "Earthing" anything. We must maintain a Physical as well as a Spiritual regimen in our practice. Balance is necessary for Physical, Emotional, Mental and... Spiritual well being, you've said a Lot here! Two things I recommend "sometimes" as suggestions or Spiritual Martial Arts Katas to alleviate the dryness of some forms of meditation are the preliminaries by Jason Miller in his first two books "Protection and Reversal Magic and Real Sorcery" both in 2nd editions and both available here through WF! ("Real Sorcery was The Sorcerer's Secrets" in it's 1st edition).
This is Non-Abrahamic stuff that will build your visualization capabilities, magical coordination and confidence and stand you in good stead when the going gets tough! If you're already aware of these then you likely know if they're compatible with your essential self or not? I identify as a Sorcerer upon the Crooked Path myself. Best regards in your practice!

Post automatically merged: Jul 31, 2025

I took up learning piano. I realized that boring meditation led to strong urges to spend time more productively. I try to do silent, mind-observing meditation while being quite still every day, but it is not enough and always feels like a chore waiting for the clock/timer to show that time's up. Having something to mentally focus on while also having actual feedback is important to me. I found out that I really enjoy and look forward to piano practice.

From the Brave search AI:

Meditation Through Music​

Playing a musical instrument can serve as a form of meditation, as it requires focused concentration and can lead to a state of relaxed awareness. This practice allows individuals to immerse themselves in the present moment, reducing stress and enhancing mental clarity. Many musicians find that the act of playing an instrument, especially when done with intention and mindfulness, can be as meditative as traditional seated meditation practices.

• Focused Concentration: Engaging with an instrument demands attention, which helps to quiet the mind and reduce distractions. This intense but relaxed focus can create a sanctuary within oneself, away from the usual mental chatter.
• Relaxed Posture and Environment: Ensuring a comfortable posture and preparing the practice space can enhance the meditative experience by promoting a sense of calm and ease.
• Mindfulness in Practice: By being fully present during practice, musicians can develop a deeper connection with their instrument and the music they create. This mindfulness can lead to improved concentration, physical awareness, and emotional expression.
• Flow State: When deeply engaged in playing an instrument, individuals may enter a flow state, where time seems to disappear, and the mind is completely absorbed in the activity. This state is similar to the benefits experienced in traditional meditation.
• Therapeutic Benefits: Learning and playing a musical instrument has been shown to have therapeutic effects, including stress reduction, improved mental health, and enhanced cognitive function.

Extremely good info here! There's no doubt about anything you've said. I can "Rock On" with Best of them, but... JAZZ (Any instrument) Piano, Sax, et al, That's Meditation for Magicians! You have a marvelous way of putting your thoughts out there, I'm Honored to be a fellow practitioner!

 

[kalliopi]

Like others have said, don’t forget you have a body, and don’t forget that you are still allowed to have fun learning new skills. Be like a child, and play. Practicing my guitar and dancing to swing and jazz in my room after I finish up with ritual and meditation is my favorite way to come back to Earth with a clear mind. Maybe I will even make some art—paint, draw, sculpt, whatever. Engaging with the arts is a cheat code to remembering connection to Wholeness. As above, so below, no? Remember you are a creator. Every moment, you create. Thoughts that seem to manifest without your intention can be analyzed, and learned from in some way, but I think it is unhealthy to give them too much power. Trust and love yourself.
Bonus tip if you have pets—spend time with them. Hanging out with my cat and talking to him helps me feel closer to Source, as well.
Bonus-bonus tip…spend time in nature if you have the means to. Be barefoot in grass, put your hands on the trees, smell flowers and soil, carefully observe all of the interesting creatures in our world, play in water if it’s safe to do so. It’s all here for us to experience. How did humans even discover Magick before the first rituals were coined and passed down from ancestor to successor?

 

[Robert Ramsay]

Like others have said, don’t forget you have a body, and don’t forget that you are still allowed to have fun learning new skills. Be like a child, and play. Practicing my guitar and dancing to swing and jazz in my room after I finish up with ritual and meditation is my favorite way to come back to Earth with a clear mind. Maybe I will even make some art—paint, draw, sculpt, whatever. Engaging with the arts is a cheat code to remembering connection to Wholeness. As above, so below, no? Remember you are a creator. Every moment, you create. Thoughts that seem to manifest without your intention can be analyzed, and learned from in some way, but I think it is unhealthy to give them too much power. Trust and love yourself.
Bonus tip if you have pets—spend time with them. Hanging out with my cat and talking to him helps me feel closer to Source, as well.
Bonus-bonus tip…spend time in nature if you have the means to. Be barefoot in grass, put your hands on the trees, smell flowers and soil, carefully observe all of the interesting creatures in our world, play in water if it’s safe to do so. It’s all here for us to experience.

This is a great post. As Alan Moore insists, Art and Magic are practically the same thing.

How did humans even discover Magick before the first rituals were coined and passed down from ancestor to successor?

It's an unexpected, but innate function of human consciousness; we were bound to find it eventually

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Like others have said, don’t forget you have a body, and don’t forget that you are still allowed to have fun learning new skills. Be like a child, and play. Practicing my guitar and dancing to swing and jazz in my room after I finish up with ritual and meditation is my favorite way to come back to Earth with a clear mind. Maybe I will even make some art—paint, draw, sculpt, whatever. Engaging with the arts is a cheat code to remembering connection to Wholeness. As above, so below, no? Remember you are a creator. Every moment, you create.

This! Making art gives me a direct connection with the spirits I work with, the magic I work with. Creation in the form of art inspires and reconnects the human mind in a strong way. It is highly spiritual.

 

[deci belle]

The phenomena the OP introduces is the universally direct, instinctual response of Mother Nature. I use the the term tongue in cheek and a bit derogatorily. Obviously, such "voices in your head" are simply psychological, but more importantly a tip-off, as to the nature of the created.

Even in terms of the karmic, (psychological momentum), such phenomena doesn't just concern personal ego. The entire mass and momentum of planetary societal karma is what constitutes the flow. It's not spiritual, it's psychological. I say "mother nature" due to its planetary context. I say universally direct, instinctual response because the inexorable flow, in terms of psychologically universal planetary consensus, IS us. We're all directly connected in terms of what buddhism calls "storehouse consciousness."

Why does this happen? Mind is one. The urge to merge in spiritual terms is disfunctional in elemental terms to karmic duality (Creation). Genuine, spontaneous (selfless) spiritual (nonpsychological) movement is antithetical to kinetic incremental karmic process. That just means that when spiritual potential spontaneously arises by virtue of one's inherently selfless nature (nonorigination), Mother (dual) Nature doesn't like it, and she wants to squash it.

Classic meditative technique is a means to see the "voice" as a matter of noting it, instead of either following personal and/or storehouse thoughts unawares or else resisting in ego-conscious reactivity. Meditation, per se, isn't a really matter of formal quiet sitting meditation in private, watching the flow of self-reflective consciousness. Real meditation is 24/7 continuously subtle, nonobjective, nonjudgemental concentration observing self-reifying consciousness in terms of the person, not the observer. The observer is mind alone, the quality of awake; the observed is thoughts, habitually reflective and relative to the thinker, knower and liver of life (ego). Ego facilitates person(ality). The person is simply a function by virtue of having a body. It is what it is and nobody knows why, but the person's job is to arrive at assisting the real potential whose "voice" you will never hear. Such knowledge is immediate, void of discursive psychological qualities— not relative to subsequent movement, thought or process. Such knowledge is all at once, and pertains to reality, not karma.

No, Mother Nature does not approve, and will continuously up the ante as one progressively uncovers the impersonal elements of enlightening potential. It's her job. Creation's gotta do what Creation's gotta do. Wizardry is taking the forward step beyond her apron strings to find out what happened. Mother Nature doesn't want you to grow up. Why? It's not your mother that doesn't want you to grow! It's just you seeing the universe in self-reflective terms because that is how you are using Mind.

Spiritual growth is simply a matter of learning to see in terms of Mind itself, being the quality of awake. Such growth gradually abandons the crutch of habit to see what is in terms of itself alone.

The working definition of reality is there is no thing. Seeing reality is dealing with delusion as it is on its own terms. Where's the magic? Delusion and reality are the same, identical. They even LOOK the same. What's the difference?

Same as before— as I stated above. It's just you seeing …in self-reflective terms because that is how you are using Mind.

Seeing without activating the psychological (self-reflective) naturally manifests the nonpsychological. That's where the magic is, because dismissing self-reflective consciousness in relative (self/other) terms, in real time, turns the light of consciousness around. Ego doesn't go away, it just reverts to its natural functionality in assisting the real potential which becomes apparent by virtue of it being inherent in perpetual situational evolution.

The magic doesn't make anything better, it just frees enlightening potential from its created karmic matrix on the spot. Most people couldn't care less about that. If you do, consider your self .02% of the general population that resonates with potential. Habituation to karmic bondage has its adherents and followers. There is no way to quantify enlightening activity in intellectual terms because inconceivability isn't relative to the rational, to words. Realizing the totality of the being that is going to die is possible, that's all. It's already you— why not find out?

 

[Lucien6493]

The phenomena the OP introduces is the universally direct, instinctual response of Mother Nature. I use the the term tongue in cheek and a bit derogatorily. Obviously, such "voices in your head" are simply psychological, but more importantly a tip-off, as to the nature of the created.

Even in terms of the karmic, (psychological momentum), such phenomena doesn't just concern personal ego. The entire mass and momentum of planetary societal karma is what constitutes the flow. It's not spiritual, it's psychological. I say "mother nature" due to its planetary context. I say universally direct, instinctual response because the inexorable flow, in terms of psychologically universal planetary consensus, IS us. We're all directly connected in terms of what buddhism calls "storehouse consciousness."

Why does this happen? Mind is one. The urge to merge in spiritual terms is disfunctional in elemental terms to karmic duality (Creation). Genuine, spontaneous (selfless) spiritual (nonpsychological) movement is antithetical to kinetic incremental karmic process. That just means that when spiritual potential spontaneously arises by virtue of one's inherently selfless nature (nonorigination), Mother (dual) Nature doesn't like it, and she wants to squash it.

Classic meditative technique is a means to see the "voice" as a matter of noting it, instead of either following personal and/or storehouse thoughts unawares or else resisting in ego-conscious reactivity. Meditation, per se, isn't a really matter of formal quiet sitting meditation in private, watching the flow of self-reflective consciousness. Real meditation is 24/7 continuously subtle, nonobjective, nonjudgemental concentration observing self-reifying consciousness in terms of the person, not the observer. The observer is mind alone, the quality of awake; the observed is thoughts, habitually reflective and relative to the thinker, knower and liver of life (ego). Ego facilitates person(ality). The person is simply a function by virtue of having a body. It is what it is and nobody knows why, but the person's job is to arrive at assisting the real potential whose "voice" you will never hear. Such knowledge is immediate, void of discursive psychological qualities— not relative to subsequent movement, thought or process. Such knowledge is all at once, and pertains to reality, not karma.

No, Mother Nature does not approve, and will continuously up the ante as one progressively uncovers the impersonal elements of enlightening potential. It's her job. Creation's gotta do what Creation's gotta do. Wizardry is taking the forward step beyond her apron strings to find out what happened. Mother Nature doesn't want you to grow up. Why? It's not your mother that doesn't want you to grow! It's just you seeing the universe in self-reflective terms because that is how you are using Mind.

Spiritual growth is simply a matter of learning to see in terms of Mind itself, being the quality of awake. Such growth gradually abandons the crutch of habit to see what is in terms of itself alone.

The working definition of reality is there is no thing. Seeing reality is dealing with delusion as it is on its own terms. Where's the magic? Delusion and reality are the same, identical. They even LOOK the same. What's the difference?



Seeing without activating the psychological (self-reflective) naturally manifests the nonpsychological. That's where the magic is, because dismissing self-reflective consciousness in relative (self/other) terms, in real time, turns the light of consciousness around. Ego doesn't go away, it just reverts to its natural functionality in assisting the real potential which becomes apparent by virtue of it being inherent in perpetual situational evolution.

The magic doesn't make anything better, it just frees enlightening potential from its created karmic matrix on the spot. Most people couldn't care less about that. If you do, consider your self .02% of the general population that resonates with potential. Habituation to karmic bondage has its adherents and followers. There is no way to quantify enlightening activity in intellectual terms because inconceivability isn't relative to the rational, to words. Realizing the totality of the being that is going to die is possible, that's all. It's already you— why not find out?

I would only add a crown of violets to what you said and call it learning how to bow, because if you look deeper, even mind dissolves into play and you end up right where you started, trying to show up for your life even though none of it makes any sense. So the truth you speak is a way of walking between love and that which is. And what is the difference anyway? It can only wound if spoken, for mind knows nothing of humility, only itself, but at the end of the day we have only the shelter of each other for our intransigent otherness and our ceaseless striving against simplicity. Personally, I just can't take it all that seriously anymore. I choose metaphor and magic and poetry because I bless the mess and call it grace, not because I have to but because it gives meaning and value and beauty to my life to live under the constraint of the laws of my being. I call it good enough. And to the OP I would say, "who are you to fall, who to judge your falling? Your feet in their wisdom precede you." Say ameen (it is done because I claim it) and move on or have some fun and forget about it for awhile. This too shall pass. Meanwhile, let your life take care of itself for a change. No need to push the river.