Occult exhaustion

[Lightlindside]

I'm at a point in my life where I believe in certain things that have become central to my perception of the universe, but the process of seeking and doing the work has lost its meaning. This is largely due to a mental health crisis that took many of my symbols and re-branded them in particularly traumatic ways. I'm rebuilding a sense of self, but it seems to be from a place of feeling like all of the symbols or entities I've collaborated with have lost their vibrancy in my life. I used to have a quiet sense of confidence in my own process, and largely it's been proximity with unhealthy community and interpersonal dynamics that have stolen away that inner fire, and led to a personal collapse.

I know the work is worth doing, and yet I can't bring myself to do it. What has helped you all when you've felt bereft of meaning and drive to revive/explore your 'great work'?

 

[Durward]

HUMOR!
We take ourselves, and our ego, very seriously at times. We can give away our common senses and values to the cesspool that life is. If we allow life to blow us around like a leaf in the wind, and put value in what others think or how they feel, as if they have been in our skin or put in any of the work, then the slightest disruptions in this external structure tends to influence us... Because we let it, thinking this is what it means to care and be human.
People can become a burden, even if it is a burden of love.
I wish I could help you realize that you are all there is on your journey, and what matters to you should not be based on external factors that you can't control.
Usually, when you reach this stage, it means you have achieved something important, and the lock, block and filter systems are doing all they can to continue to contain you and stop you from reaching your goal.
When you laugh at those lock, block, and filter systems, you take their power over you away, and you stop taking yourself so seriously. Serious becomes morbid and dark. The only thing stopping you from a better community and better interpersonal dynamics is investment in them, giving them more power over you than they deserve. You may have reached the point of the "dark night of the soul" where the spirit, like a solitary sparrow on a roof, detaches from worldly things, which is a solitary journey. Be of the world, but detached from it.
I use this when I forget to stay aloof:

I have the strength to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference​

Then share a good fart joke in an elevator and remember that death is our best advisor, because very little makes any difference in the face of mortality, except that which survives.

 

[Treanty]

Go to the Roots , conect with the land and study for me, but I think we practices quite different kinds of traditions.

 

[Firetree]

I'm at a point in my life where I believe in certain things that have become central to my perception of the universe, but the process of seeking and doing the work has lost its meaning. This is largely due to a mental health crisis that took many of my symbols and re-branded them in particularly traumatic ways. I'm rebuilding a sense of self, but it seems to be from a place of feeling like all of the symbols or entities I've collaborated with have lost their vibrancy in my life. I used to have a quiet sense of confidence in my own process, and largely it's been proximity with unhealthy community and interpersonal dynamics that have stolen away that inner fire, and led to a personal collapse.

I know the work is worth doing, and yet I can't bring myself to do it. What has helped you all when you've felt bereft of meaning and drive to revive/explore your 'great work'?

Gardening .

 

[Hakon]

I'm at a point in my life where I believe in certain things that have become central to my perception of the universe, but the process of seeking and doing the work has lost its meaning. This is largely due to a mental health crisis that took many of my symbols and re-branded them in particularly traumatic ways. I'm rebuilding a sense of self, but it seems to be from a place of feeling like all of the symbols or entities I've collaborated with have lost their vibrancy in my life. I used to have a quiet sense of confidence in my own process, and largely it's been proximity with unhealthy community and interpersonal dynamics that have stolen away that inner fire, and led to a personal collapse.

I know the work is worth doing, and yet I can't bring myself to do it. What has helped you all when you've felt bereft of meaning and drive to revive/explore your 'great work'?

Sometimes the issue is not that the Work has lost its worth, but that part of you was wounded on the way to it. When symbols, practices, and even certain inner presences become tied to pain, confusion, or toxic environments, it makes sense that everything can start to feel drained of life. In a moment like that, the task may not be to immediately return to the Great Work, but to rebuild the inner ground that once made it meaningful.

What often helps is letting go of the pressure to recover everything as it was. The way back may begin in a much smaller, more human way: real rest, silence, distance from people and spaces that distort your perception, simple and safe practices, and permission not to produce anything spiritually for a while. In many cases, taking care of your mental health is not separate from the Work; it is part of it.

The flame may not be gone. It may simply be buried. And when that happens, the first act of fidelity to the path is not forcing intensity, but protecting your inner life until meaning can breathe again. Sometimes the Great Work begins again precisely when you stop trying to recover its old form and allow it to be born anew.

 

[TGalen]

Take a break and don't worry about it for a while. Sometimes those batteries have to recharge. If you're needing to clear some personal correspondences, wait things out if you've already defined what's negative and positive and see what happens. See if coincidance, communication, etc, comes to you afresh and anew. See after a while what pulls at you, maybe in new ways and see how things go.
tldr: touch grass, free yourself/make space, and see what might come up.

 

[Fausto]

I'm at a point in my life where I believe in certain things that have become central to my perception of the universe, but the process of seeking and doing the work has lost its meaning. This is largely due to a mental health crisis that took many of my symbols and re-branded them in particularly traumatic ways. I'm rebuilding a sense of self, but it seems to be from a place of feeling like all of the symbols or entities I've collaborated with have lost their vibrancy in my life. I used to have a quiet sense of confidence in my own process, and largely it's been proximity with unhealthy community and interpersonal dynamics that have stolen away that inner fire, and led to a personal collapse.

I know the work is worth doing, and yet I can't bring myself to do it. What has helped you all when you've felt bereft of meaning and drive to revive/explore your 'great work'?

Four words for you: do not give up.
I have studied occultism for 14 years and I confess that I sometimes stay tired, I had failures and sucess like everybody. But only studying hard I will get in a high level. There are no easy paths.

 

[AbammonTheGreat]

I'm at a point in my life where I believe in certain things that have become central to my perception of the universe, but the process of seeking and doing the work has lost its meaning. This is largely due to a mental health crisis that took many of my symbols and re-branded them in particularly traumatic ways. I'm rebuilding a sense of self, but it seems to be from a place of feeling like all of the symbols or entities I've collaborated with have lost their vibrancy in my life. I used to have a quiet sense of confidence in my own process, and largely it's been proximity with unhealthy community and interpersonal dynamics that have stolen away that inner fire, and led to a personal collapse.

I know the work is worth doing, and yet I can't bring myself to do it. What has helped you all when you've felt bereft of meaning and drive to revive/explore your 'great work'?

Its okay to take a break from the work. Enjoy your life, others have suggested grounding. Keep your practice simple and light. Prayer and meditation. But we do magic to benefit ourselves and others. Take this as an opportunity to enjoy the mundane.

 

[Jonathan Strange]

I'm going through a moment like this and have to force myself to practice and to have interest. But when it passes everything comes back in force.

 

[Lightlindside]

It's affirming to hear people talk about gentle practice, humor, enjoying the mundane, and even just taking a break. I have a suspicion that I've been dealing with a severe burnout due to negative associations and experiences that have built up over time. I'm away from a lot of that now, and think I'm going to take y'alls advice by being kinder and more gentle about my practices, and seeing things with a sense of humor that touches the entirety of my situation.

I readily suspect that the fire will come back when I give myself the time to let it under clear circumstances again. Thank you all for your input!

 

[borbponderer]

You don't need those symbols, or any symbols for that matter. Go easy on yourself. Learn to just quietly pay attention. Less is often more.

 

[Nicole Padilla]

Some people describe occult exhaustion as feeling mentally and emotionally drained after intense involvement in occult or spiritual practices. They may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or fatigued.

 

[dzb10035]

Honestly, take a break from anything related to occult or magical practice and "ground". The essence of grounding back into the physical world is to reconnect with it. Forget about rituals, spells, spirits, grimoires, and symbols. Get back into your life and do material things that you enjoy. If you feel trauma regarding certain symbols due to your mental health crisis, then don't engage with the symbols. If you have the money or insurance coverage, I would suggest also getting a therapist to work through your mental issues too. Sometimes, our greatest enemy in magical practice is not external stuff in life, but ourselves and we need to take care of ourselves with compassion before venturing back into our engagements.

This also means engaging in self-care practices that will help you regain a sense of peace and balance within yourself. For me, this can include things like meditation and mindfulness, but you can find other possibilities. Personally, I think buddhist meditation of just simply following your breath is pretty effective in grounding yourself in a moment and mentally rejuvenating yourself. Even though meditation is important to occult practice, it is also separate from it as well. It remains a powerful tool for anchoring yourself in the present for many people.

In due course, once you take the time to work through your mental traumas and reconnect with the material world, you may find yourself gravitating back to magical practice. It is like that for many people I believe. And in the end if it is a particular set of symbols that bother you, you may also consider embracing entirely new systems of practice once you come back from your "break".

 

[crooktooth]

Shift your personal paradigm.

Symbols that no longer achieve the goal they were created for are no longer useful.
Godforms that no longer provide the results you seek are no longer useful.
Magick is a tool, just as belief is, for the practitioner to use. If things are no longer useful cast them out and replace them with things that are useful. Whether that be creating new symbols with meanings that are useful, or new godforms that will provide the results you are looking for.

If the system is no longer working for you, change it. It's your practice.

 

[Keldan]

If you ask me, the issue is not the practice itself has become meaningless, but that your relationship to the practice has been damaged by the crisis.

For me personally, I practice magick for more than 5 hours a day and have done so consistently for so many years. I have never felt exhausted by it in the way some people describe, but that is because I am always approaching it as something evolving. I often tell myself there is still something missing. That mindset keeps me curious. It pushes me to find new angles and even automate my magick.

But in your case, I would not force yourself to jump straight back into the same practice that now feels hollow. Sometimes the practice is not about doing more rituals, calling more entities, or forcing inspiration to return. Sometimes it is much simpler. If your crisis rebranded those things in painful ways, then the first step is reclaiming your own identity.

 

[wolfangel888]

I find myself in a similar state also at the moment, having dropped my usual practice to focus on art objects related to where I am currently at, as surrounding social and political dramas playing out where I am currently situated seem to dominate the prevailing atmosphere, even finding it hard to get the energy to banish via the star ruby, LBRP, or attendant Hexagram rituals, Chaos seems to be the order of the day where I am, might give that a go.

 

[saber]

What works best for me is a combination of a few things people already shared here, but I'll speak my thoughts.

I think taking a total break from the occult is a good idea (because you never really can take a total break from it once it's interwoven into your life, but you just interact it with it in more subtle ways). Take time to rebuild those symbols and their associations for you by simply not thinking about them, and letting them come up naturally in your day-to-day life. If that doesn't work, not a big deal, but I found it helps.

Additionally, after your break, try getting back into the occult from a different angle than when you left it. If you were really heavily into Thelema, try doing some Folk Magic, for example. In time, you can return and reintegrate with your original practices, but you'll have a newer, fresh perspective that doesn't have the baggage of all the symbols with traumatizing associations.

Hope this help!

 

[hollowglasd]

Take a break from magick for a while or longer. I took a years long break from magick and came back refreshed with a better grasp on myself and work

 

[MorganBlack]

Lightlindside: " ...took many of my symbols and re-branded them in particularly traumatic ways."

Gah! Sux!

May I suggest Neville's NT techniques? It's symbolism-lite, super right-hemisphere art-farty, requires no yoga, and works great for us creative types: artists, writers, dancers, and all dreamers.

I was just complaining in chat the internet has made us to become so SO DEEP. SO sincere and attending. A flat white color. Give yourself a break and bask some in not giving a fuck. Once you are there again it usually clicks. Remember beginner's luck? This is that state. Then re-engage or find own your sense the sincerity and taking everything as super-duper , boy-scout, do-or-die important again.

A little bit of crazy wisdom from the late, great comedian, Texan, and mystic, Bill Hicks:

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